In a modern day society it is often consider that if you get married whilst in your teenage years you are only doing so because you knocked up some poor girl or you are the poor girl in question. I'm not going to argue with that. I have heard of cases of this happening. However, I have heard of teenage couples getting engaged and married, not because of pregnancy, but love. In fact, two of these couples are my friends.
I have to think about what exactly I thought on both occasions. Firstly, I have to think why? Is it because of their strong Christian beliefs getting in the way of horny teenage wants? Or is it because they think its romantic? The Twilight Saga certainly promotes teenage marriage and, yes, it was partly because they were in love, but mainly because Bella was on the verge of dry humping anything that moves. Is this the same reason for my friends? I would be lying if I said that I believed it had nothing to do with sex. They are relatively divot Christians but the public displays of affection by the newly engaged couple were FULL ON even when they were just going out!
So, we have admitted the sex element, but what about the example Twilight sets? By which, I mean, could it just be because they think it is cool due to the Cullen\Swan union? It wouldn't surprise me if it was for some couples. People will trick themselves by saying it's because of love but it could be for attention just as easily. For my friends, however, I do not believe that is the case.
Age. That is the next thought. These couples would not have been in that many relationships before and for most these relationships are the only serious ones they have ever had. Now I have no issue with anybody marrying someone they have know since they were young, but why marry whilst they are still young? Would it really do any harm to wait a few more years until they have had more time to get to know each other better? But then again if they are in love why not? It is quite simple, when we are young we make stupid mistakes. Thats not to say my friends are making mistakes, if they had said no and broken up over it there would probably always been a part of them that wished they hadn't given up. On the other hand, how can they be so sure now? I'm not even sure about changing my hair cut just because the time I would have to wait for it to grow out if I didn't like it is far too much commitment at this juncture.
Finally, on the issue of age, what is so wrong about teenage marriage? After all if we think back to the not-so-distant past, getting married at 18 or even 16 years old was considered a normal part of life. Furthermore, some of these couples have been together for years, whether or not that is due to the stigma attached to divorce or not us a question for them to answer, but it is without saying that some of these marriages (if not most) were successful to varying extents. Nevertheless, every marriage has issues, the test of the relationship is how well they work it out. However, the most interesting issue to me here is if it was socially acceptable for young couple to get married then why is it not frowned upon to some extent now? Sure the times have changed and the British are more liberal, but when it come down to it, we really are a bunch of judgemental hypocritical bastards.
It's often said that when we fall in love we just know, but how do we know if we have nothing to compare it to? But in the end aren't we all just fools when it comes to love? So with that I hope that any young couples who are thinking about marrying in their teens, or shortly thereafter, just stop and think, am I doing this for the right reasons? Am I actually in love and can I see myself spending the rest of my life with this person? And above all, make sure you are not tying the knot because you are simply in love with the idea of love.
For any of those couple reading this have decided that they have or are making the right choice I say, kudos. May you and my friends mentioned in this post live long and happy lives together.
Oh and if it does all go to buggery at least divorce has been legal for a while now.
i don't really believe in the concept of marriage. it's expensiv and i can't see how it would benefit a good relationship, after all if your really in love why would you need a piece of paper to say so?
ReplyDeleteHowever, some may argue that if a couple is married they may try harder to work through their issues as they would have to get divorced instead of just giving up. Furthermore, religion plays an important role in some peoples lives and that 'piece of paper' is incredibly important to them. Moreover, marriage doesn't have to be expensive. If you don't have a lot of money you go to a registry office and if you are well of, well fill your boots.Nevertheless, I do understand your point. It does seem ludicrous to get a 'piece of paper' to validate your relationship. I have know couples who have been together a long time who have kids and they are perfectly fine with just being partners and not married.
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